Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I ADD MY PRAYER TO THEIRS

Recently, I spent time in a student prayer chapel on the campus of a university.  The small but worshipful space had prayer notes written and left by students who had visited the chapel throughout the course of the year.  Reading a few, I found their prayers to be sincere.  Some were painfully honest and earnestly seeking.

To their prayers, I added my own note of prayer...

Just because I am older doesn't make my prayers less desperate or seeking.  I am a 52-year-old child of God being reminded I am loved "in spite of..."  In some ways desperation gets deeper and dependency on God greater because life over time tends to get more complicated. People I love choose other than I would. I can't control--and wouldn't want to. Still, I desire.  I desire beyond what is within my ability to give or produce or orchestrate or ensure or know with wisdom.  And so I pray. In prayer, I yield.  I put it beyond me.  I lift up my soul.  I release.  I trust ("I believe, Lord, help my unbelief").  And I walk forward, committed to listen and be changed by God's Spirit agitating and guiding me in times when I am not specifically praying.  I count on God to readily break in any time, anywhere.

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