YOUR SEARCH. I made a commitment to myself and to you to
try not to control or steer you regarding decisions about your future. You are exploring options and considering
choices. I want to support you in that
search without trying to determine outcomes.
Your future is yours, not mine. I
fully anticipate that you will clearly eclipse my own best advice.
PRINCIPLED APPROACH. I was thinking about this and figured that it’s
not specific choices that matter so much to me as a desire that you take a
principled approach to your future. So,
here are a few things I hope you’ll take to heart as you approach your
future. I have tried—and am still
endeavoring—to live these. They are in
no specific order and they are incomplete.
Hopefully, we will have opportunity to talk more about these together.
- Nurture your enthusiasms. May
you know what it feels like to be exuberant about a few things. May you occasionally enjoy something so
much you care less what peers or others think. An enthusiasm can connect you to
authentic passion about life. It
can also convey the difference between what excites and what empowers.
- Fan the flame of your gifts and creativity. Run to your strengths as you sense or
uncover them. Even if you don’t
feel creative, you really are. Creativity
can’t be reduced to art forms. Explore
and experiment with ways of expressing yourself until you find a few with
which you can sail forward.
- Open yourself to God; pay attention to the “still, small voice.” This is not about going to church. It is about something much bigger,
grander. Even if organized religion
sometimes seems provincial and institutional church disappoints, God and
grace is bigger, higher, deeper, wider. God is ever-approachable, accessible,
with you, there for you. Keep open. And tune in frequently.
- Think in terms of “calling” as well as career path or vocation. In Let Your Life Speak, Parker
Palmer paints these distinctions. You
are incredibly capable; there is really nothing you can’t do. Don’t typecast yourself or close the
door on any possibilities too quickly. Think in terms of what contribution you
might make to your generation, to life, more than about whom you might
work for or what job you might fulfill.
- Face down your fears. You
will encounter intimidators, bullies, and manipulators throughout life. They come in the form of ideas, norms, friends,
family, corporations and culture. You
may even come to fear your own power. Whatever or whoever you fear holds power
over you. When afraid, seek to see
through fears and pray for courage to confront and throw off fear’s tyranny—again
and again.
- Cultivate solitude. Carve
out space to be alone, to be quiet, to listen, to recollect, to open your
heart and look inside, to lift your soul and be changed little by little. This includes intentionally and routinely
disconnecting from noise and media.
It’s a discipline that will bring great satisfaction and wisdom. Here is where you learn to know yourself
and discern what is best.
- Unlock the power of forgiveness. Annoyances, slights, grievances, hurts
and wrongs multiply. The only sane
way forward is to forgive. Whatever
grievance you hold onto holds onto you; it inflicts more personal pain than
you can inflict in response. Forgiveness
is a choice. But our ability to
forgive is limited; I’ve found I need God’s grace to make forgiveness real
and lasting. There’s nothing so
wonderful in life as to forgive and be forgiven.
- Magnify subtleties; look carefully at things others overlook. “Been there, done that” seems to define
our times, as if life is about collecting strings of experiences. Manyness and muchness leaves unfulfilled
yearnings. I find value in
contemplating serendipitous encounters.
Return to memorable places. Be
faithful to friends. Attend to those
others undervalue. Uphold the value
of something small.
- Diversify your exposure to ideas, people, and the milieu of life. Keep drawing the circle bigger. Read beyond your comfort zone. Dare to listen to and include people
others routinely reject. Challenge
every prejudice you find yourself expressing. The world is too interesting and life’s
too short to think and act narrowly.
And the world really needs you.
- Don’t deny yourself “the struggle.” No one hands you personal success or freedom.
It is won through intentional
pursuit and personal sacrifice. It’s
worth it to put first things first and delay gratification. Give up some frivolous things in order
to become or achieve what you desire. This isn’t about “financial freedom” so
much as it is about becoming and doing what you envision.
- Reflect on your journey as you go. Look back often enough to appreciate the
journey you’re on. Observe how
grace has guided you thus far. Note
past failures and see how to avoid them in the future. Celebrate little breakthroughs and the things
important to you that others don’t notice. Reflecting on your journey is a way of
loving God, loving yourself and, ultimately, making your love more valuable
to others.
In the spirit of dialog, I welcome comments and/or questions. Click on "responses" below to post. They're moderated only to reduce incivility.
Great insight.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post, and the pic. All grow'd up!
ReplyDelete